My daughter, like any teenager, often doubt herself and struggles to find her ‘niche’. There is nothing wrong with that because she has just turned 15 and still ‘finding’ herself. Sometimes the pressure of the “perfect” syndrome can drain the life out of her even if it is for just a fleeting moment. She is quite a confident, intelligent and popular among her peers but that phase of ‘in between’- where she no longer looks like a child and does not feel like an adult yet can be really confusing. Recently during one of her down days we had a conversation about what can truly make her happy. My answer was “Give yourself a chance” and here is what I shared with her:
You do not need to please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself. When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one who is left unfulfilled in the end.
Everything do not need to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you because those are the things that define you as a person and eventually make the difference between existing and enjoying your life.
You do not have to be better than others – when you think everyone is your competition – when you think you have to be smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to you, life wears you out. You become tired and unhappy. The only person you need to compete with is yourself. All you need to do is try and be a better version of yourself and appreciate every little things along the way.
Always know your worth – do not settle for less than what you know you deserve in your friendship or relationship. Make choices based on what you believe in, and not just what others believe in. You have to talk it out sometimes,sooner rather than later and people will not be please. You simply cannot lower your values because of them.
Finally, absolutely no one is happy all of the time. You cannot be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes. This is the harsh truth but even when life is less than blissful, make sure you are still in charge of how you respond, always choose positivity and seek comfort from those who loves you the most.